Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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