my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
