K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
