im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
