so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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