Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
