Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
