Christians are straight up FREAKS
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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