I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
do nipples grow back?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
