you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
