I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
