Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
