is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i've created a new STD.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break