I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This toilet bowl is my home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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