she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
