oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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