Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
