Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
