I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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