We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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