You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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