i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
