There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
