I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize