that's an acceptable place to lick
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
