walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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