that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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