let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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