You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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