Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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