We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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