I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
