Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
