apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
