THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
