That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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