Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize