I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
