Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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