I bet he comes in French.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I want to fling myself into the sun
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
