Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
