Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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