Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
