i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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