To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
