and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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