we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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