Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bring me that man meat
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
