im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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