She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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