why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
