If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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