It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
