So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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