The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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