The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Princesses don't give blow jobs
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
