You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
