normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize