# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
wanna go halves on a baby?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
