Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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