Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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